The Struggle Of Being A ‘Marge’
Given that being well-dressed and dressing other people is what I do for a living, I’m one of the lucky guys that actually finds some pleasure in shopping. I’m constantly making stops into stores and pulling suits for a photo-shoot, grabbing shirts & ties for a client, or simply checking out what’s new. Besides knowing plenty of the sales associates on Fifth Avenue by name and having multiple department stores on speed-dial, one of the main factors that makes a shopping trip not only enjoyable, but also easy for me, is knowing my true sizes. Of course, sizes and fit vary between brands but for the most part, it’s a medium shirt and 32 pant…boom.
However, in the past few years as I’ve gotten older (and I would hope a bit wiser) I’ve entered some unfamiliar territory when it comes to my sizes and I don’t think I’m the only guy in this boat. I’ve entered the land of the “marge”. Being in “marge” land is when you’ve all of a sudden found yourself floating between a medium and a large. (See what I did there with that word-merge?) I thought to myself, “what the hell was happening?” Were my Soul Cycle sweat sessions going to waste? What were my trusty size medium oxford shirts thinking? I’m sure they were wondering why they hadn’t been worn to any important business meetings as of late. I thought I had the junk-food under control! I wasn’t unknowingly gaining weight and sure, maybe my weight-training was paying off. Truth of the matter was that my body was simply changing.
Gone are the days of my roaring twenties… when a few carb-free days and some cardio would do the trick. Now I was going to have to work to keep this size medium. Okay so you’re thinking what’s the big deal? Just size up to a large, right? Nope, that’s a mistake my friend. When your true frame and shoulder measurements are one size (in my case, a medium) and you suddenly jump up a size to make up for weight gain, stubborn spots, etc. you’ll be looking at some serious extra fabric in your mid-section, which will actually make you look heavier than you really are. Even if you opt for a slim-fit shirt, going a size up will do you no justice when it comes to your overall appearance. Your shoulders will slope, your suit-jackets won’t lie properly and trust me, things won’t look great.
In order to avoid a full size upgrade and to get back to my fighting size, it was going to take a bit of discipline on my end when it came to eating and moving. For me, I always had those problem areas in my midsection (what the ladies would call “muffin top”…we’ll call it remnants of a “spare tire”) that even with diet and exercise, I just couldn’t blast away. I accepted the fact that a little something extra may be necessary and decided to do some digging and in my research, came up with the clear winner…cue the secret light-based weapon called SculpSure. This bad boy does wonders for the midsection and will finally crush those problem spots in a 25-minute treatment with no down time, enabling us to get back to our fighting size with no pulls, tugs, or button popping. I say we shake the preconceived notions, wipe away the intimidation, and do what it takes to get back to business and out of marge land. After all, it’s fun dating two sizes but I say we try to give monogamy a running chance.